Orgasmic Meditation: What to Know and The right way to Do It

For many individuals, orgasmic meditation (OM) is an attractive apply that mixes sexuality and mindfulness to assist them obtain most pleasure. However for these concerned within the controversial wellness firm known as OneTaste, OM has an entire different which means.

Within the newly released Netflix documentary “Orgasmic Inc.,” which dropped Nov. 7, the exposé particulars OneTaste‘s historical past of alleged sexual assault, predatory gross sales practices, and “cult-like activities.” And sadly, one of many practices they often appeared to abuse was orgasmic meditation (OM).

For these unfamiliar, OneTaste is a company that “gives individuals with instructing and trainings into residing a desire-based life, rooted in a felt-sense of connection,” in response to their web site. They additional describe themselves as being “on the verge of nice change, need, energy, and ladies’s liberation,” and claimed to supply orgasm coaching providers for ladies seeking to heal from sexual trauma. Whereas this sounds nice in principle, OneTaste is understood for doing far more harm than good.

Regardless of OneTaste giving OM a foul rap, when OM is practiced in a consensual, conscious, and pleasurable manner, it may be a really great and therapeutic apply. Let’s discover what orgasmic meditation actually is, the potential advantages, and how one can strive it for your self, if .

What Is Orgasmic Meditation?

Orgasmic meditation (OM) is a apply accomplished between two companions that is designed to “enhance pleasure capability and sensation consciousness” for individuals with vulvas, says somatic intercourse educator Kiana Reeves, chief content material officer at plant-based sexual wellness model, Foria. The apply includes a “very particular and structured” set-up the place the receiver lays comfortably on their again with their legs open for a delegated period of time. The giving companion then strokes the higher left quadrant of their companion’s clitoris with one finger, and as they contact, they modify as wanted (for stroke, velocity, stress, and many others.) as instructed by their companion.

Based on OneTaste, they coined the time period “orgasmic meditation” themselves. Nonetheless, the apply doubtless originated lengthy earlier than OneTaste was based in 2005. In any case, many sexual meditative practices, together with sexual kung fu, had been influenced by Jap practices. And, in case you have a look at the origins of meditation typically, it has been traced all the way back to 5000 BCE — so it is onerous to say how far again orgasmic meditation actually goes.

What Are the Advantages of Orgasmic Mediation?

Based on Buddhist intercourse therapist Cheryl Fraser, PhD, training OM can:

  • enhance emotional and non secular connection together with your companion
  • enhance sexual responsivity and pleasure for individuals with pelvic ache, sexual trauma, low arousal, and many others.
  • scale back stress and anxiousness
  • deliver a brand new sort of lovemaking into your erotic repertoire which mixes the thoughts, coronary heart, and physique
  • enhance your capacity to expertise highly effective, mind-blowing, lasting pleasure

Reeves additionally provides that particularly being on the receiving finish of OM can assist you deal with the current, enhance your capability for extra pleasure and stimulation over time, enhance your capacity to obtain (and scale back the stress to present), and mean you can grow to be extra snug together with your genitals.

In any case, “When somebody’s taking a look at your vulva and listening to each micro motion and response in your physique, you naturally construct a capability to be seen,” Reeves says — which could be a huge hurdle for some individuals throughout sexual interactions.

On the giving aspect of issues, OM can assist you be taught to trace pleasure cues in your companion’s physique, making for an improved connection between the 2 of you. It will possibly additionally allow you to develop a greater understanding of your companion’s psychological house and what they want emotionally to expertise pleasure.

The right way to Observe Orgasmic Meditation

One generally practiced method, in response to Reeves, is as adopted:

  1. Arrange a snug house (or nest) with pillows and blankets the place you possibly can lay in your again and relaxation together with your legs folded open.
  2. Agree that it is a non-reciprocated sexual apply, so acknowledge that when the quarter-hour is over, nothing else will occur — nor are there another expectations.
  3. Get comfortable, wash your palms, sit down collectively, and breathe earlier than beginning. Make eye contact and really feel the care you will have for one another.
  4. Set a timer for quarter-hour.
  5. Information your companion to probably the most delicate a part of your clitoral space. As they contact for quarter-hour, ask for the changes you want from them by way of stroke, velocity, stress, and many others.
  6. Cease when the timer ends. Take a couple of breaths collectively.
  7. Repeat weekly or a couple of occasions per week – nevertheless usually feels useful.

That is much like the strategy utilized by OneTaste, solely it focuses on centering consent, pleasure, and privateness — as true OM ought to, Reeves says.

Nonetheless, there are different methods to apply OM, too. The truth is, Good Vibrations’s employees sexologist Carol Queen, PhD tells that training OM can look nevertheless you need it to look. “There isn’t any a method it’s best to expertise your physique or your sexuality,” Dr. Queen says. In different phrases, they recommend you apply clitoral touching in no matter manner that feels greatest for you — irrespective of if it is with or with out a companion or longer or shorter than quarter-hour.

Fraser, for instance, coaches {couples} to apply conscious sexuality and aware orgasm as a substitute of a step-by-step means of OM. “The bottom line is to decelerate, take your time, focus deeply, and never race to the end line.” Principally, your purpose is to de-prioritize orgasm as your purpose, and “simply” benefit from the sensations.

If this strategy appears like one thing you wish to strive whereas giving, here’s what Fraser suggests:

  1. Set a timer for 45 minutes. Ask your companion to put comfortably. Start to the touch and discover their physique very slowly. Contact, tease, and tantalize them with out touching their ordinary erogenous zones (clitoris, vulva, penis, scrotum, perineum, butt, anus, or nipples). As a substitute, discover different sensations on the entire physique.
  2. When approaching the purpose of orgasm, look into your companion’s eyes. Breathe slowly, deal with the contact, the sensations, and the pleasure, and be within the current second.
  3. Take turns giving one another a gentle, sensual, horny genital therapeutic massage. Ask your lover to focus their thoughts solely on the contact of your fingers or tongue. Carry them near orgasm then again away.

Fraser reminds {couples} that it isn’t precisely the contact itself that issues or turns you on — it is actually your thoughts. “That is why I inform the {couples} in my program again and again that nice intercourse is all in your head.”

What is the Distinction Between Orgasmic Meditation and Regular Stimulation?

There are a couple of key variations right here. For one, throughout orgasmic meditation, the main focus is just not on the orgasm, however extra so the expertise. Whereas this needs to be the case for all the pleasurable experiences you have interaction in, with orgasmic meditation particularly, the receiver ought to focus extra on the sensations and the way stimulating every little thing feels somewhat than the end-goal being an orgasm.

One other distinction is that, throughout orgasmic meditation, the eye is targeted solely on the receiver. After the giver is finished pleasuring the receiver for the allotted quantity, the session is over. That is so the receiver can focus solely on their very own pleasure and sensations as a substitute of worrying about taking too lengthy or when it needs to be their flip to “return the favor.” That mentioned, in case you and your companion determine you need to change roles and never finish the session utterly after the allotted time, that is utterly OK too.

Lastly, and maybe the most important distinction, is that orgasmic meditation consists of considerably extra breath work and meditative practices. Each the giver and receiver ought to actively examine in with one another with a purpose to sync their respiratory and join past the bodily stage. You are able to do this by sitting face-to-face earlier than beginning actions and inhaling collectively for 3 seconds, then exhaling collectively for 3 seconds. You’ll be able to proceed to do that because the session continues.

All that to say, when accomplished with consent and in a pleasure-first atmosphere, orgasmic meditation could be a stunning apply to strive with a trusted companion.

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